How to pick Godparents…

25 Apr


I was recently asked to be godmother to my cousin’s gorgeous baby girl, Tilly. I had to explain my non-church-attending status, but agreed it was such an honour to have a role in Tilly’s life. My husband was surprised they had asked, his reasons being: 1. you don’t like kids; 2. you definitely don’t have any recognisable religion in your life; 3. you quite often lose things.

And so I did start to wonder why I’d been asked. And had been asked twice previously for other children. My first godly duty was to my mother’s friend’s son when I was 12. Beyond my friendship on Facebook and presents, I’m not sure I’ve ever offered him a whole lot of godly support. Then years later, I became ‘supporting adult’ (that’s what you get at a secular naming ceremony, rather than godparents) to my friend’s baby boy. I do send him good presents, but doubt I am among those anyone would call on for babysitting duties. I was a riot at the after-ceremony-party though, of course. So then I asked my husband and friend, what criteria would we have should we ever have a kid and decide to call in extra support (which I’m fairly sure we would need from day 1 based on my propensity to lose things). My husband’s friend then revealed the strategy he had decided would be in place for his offspring.

1. One must have money. At school, a friend of his totalled £1000 a year from his godparents. Enough said.

2. One must have influence. His friends now employed at law firms, recruitment firms and in finance have all had a ‘good word’ from their godparents to seal the deal.

3. One must come with perks. Someone who works in film, for example, and will be able to supply autographs, trips to the movie sets and stage-door meetings with the latest heart-throbs. Or even better, one who has a boat or property abroad for a lifetime of subsidised holidays.

Might go some way to explaining Elton John appointing someone like Lady Gaga as godmother. While I agree this is a callous approach, it does make a semblance of sense. And explains why I’m no longer in regular contact with the majority of godmothers I chose at the age of 10: a colleague of my dad’s (pretty), my babysitter (made good forts), my neighbour (proximity). My husband is still scratching his head as to why I’ve been asked 3 times when I have neither perks, influence or money to speak of, but as I told him – I can only assume it is by merit of my sparkling personality. And in Tilly’s case, possibly my shoe collection.


2 Responses to “How to pick Godparents…”

  1. Louise @ April 25, 2011 at 12:59 pm #

    I have often wondered the same thing, but for the opposite reason – I’m always the one that is overlooked. I do occasionally go to church (admittedly under my mother’s influence, but I like to think I could be a little godly) but I don’t have the money, nor the contact at London’s top law firm. I do, however, have many beauty products – surely that’s enough to lure the parents of girl babies? Any takers?

  2. Bec May 1, 2011 at 7:26 pm #

    Well you are wrong, I would ask you to babysit. I’ll be looking at the calender proto!
    Great post lady 🙂

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